Shattering News...

Yesterday my parents recieved a phone call from a law firm saying they needed to confirm CYB's death. My mom thought it was a bill collector trying to scam them on giving information about her. We had not talked to CYB in about six months after the wildfires destroyed their home and were evacuated. We knew they were safe due to a couple of news stories, this was the last we heard from her and my three nephews. (My brother is married to CYB but they have been seperated for five years and he has not even seen his boys-yes he is a deadbeat and its quite alright to say that... anyways) So, I begin to search on the internet for obituararies, I am unable to find any at all. I begin to think this is a scam then I got smart and checked the Social Security Death Index website and there it was in black and white. CYB death Sept. 8, 2008. I was in shock, she was only 37 years old, she wasn't in the best health but we sure didn't expect that and we sure thought that we would at least get a phone call from her lover who we welcomed into the family for the past five years and thought was a great guy as he stepped up to father my nephews... I couldn't believe my eyes, in a state of shock, confusion, disbelief, and then total panic. Where were my nephews? Nobody had contacted D my brother or my parents about it. The lawyer was a bill collector that had recieved notice of her death and was trying to confirm it, why if the lawyer was able to find us was the state of California unable to find any of to notify us... Again, where the hell were my nephews aged 9,7, & 6. I started searching the internet for my nephews names and stumbled across a court website. It showed that BH was granted custody (her lover and the man who raised them-their REAL daddy as far as I am concerned) on 11/22 since they were unable to find any other family. Obviously California did not try very hard in looking for them, which angers me because how many other children are awarded custody to people that might not be suitable to raise them because they really didn't search for any family. Anyways, I get a hold of one of CYB's friends that lives here in small town Kansas and see if she has a different phone number. She was also unaware that CYB had passed away as well. I try the phone number she has and BH did answer so I begun to "nicely" interrogate him. They believe that it was her heart because in July she had an angiogram that showed her heart was only functioning at 60%, my question is if the doctors knew this two months before she passed why wasn't something done? The day she passed away she had gotten a phone call from the school saying D.A. was sick and needed to be picked up so she sent D.W. to pick him up. When D.A & D.W returned they found their mom slunched over in bed, already blue. An ambulance was immediately called and they were unable to revive her. A death certificate still has not been issued (is this weird? I find that really odd) because her case is "complex" according to the county they live in because she was on a mixture of medications (a combination of 15).

I am not sure how I feel about BH raising my nephews. I know he is a really good guy and has always been in the boys' life and should be considered their daddy, but now he can legally get their last name changed. They are the last of the boys to carry my maiden name and that makes me sad knowing that our bloodline will end with these boys as I have no doubt BH will most likely legally adopt them, right now he has been granted permanent custody (I think these are two different things... right?). I am sure we will find out more in the months ahead I will by deadbeat brother would pull his head out of his ass and step up to the plate but I really don't see that happening due to him lying to the "girl of his dreams" who seems to think he only has one child and was unmarried. In actuallity he has five children and was married to CYB until she passed away.

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In other news I am still having a lot of contractions, I am sure at my next doctor appointment (Thur.) that I will be dilated farther. At least I have hit 35 weeks, according to BabyCenter he is 18 inches and 5.5 lbs, I wish my OB would do another sonogram since I have pre-term labor hanging over my head I would like to know about his lungs and organs so I know what to expect like we did with MS. I told her I wanted the steroid shot to make sure his lungs were matured but she didn't feel the need for this. That really upsets me because I feel that is what helped MS do so well when she was born at 36 weeks and only had temperature problems. Ugh, I am ready to pull my hair out and the doctor isn't helping.