Tuesday, November 15, 2011


"You have changed, your used to be hot"

Umm gee thanks... prick

Thursday, November 10, 2011

I Won't Be Surprised To Have The Police Show Up

Wednesday my son Shaun (who is 2 now) had to have surgery. He had his tonsils removed, adenoids yanked out, and temporary ear tubes put in. Now, let me just say this blog post may be offensive to some. If it is well too damn bad (not that I have readers anyway ha).

We get there at 6am, get him checked in and led off to the back to get prepared for surgery. He was the perfect little boy and I felt horrible for praising him for being so good when he had no idea what he was in for (yes, I cried). He even let the nurse carry him off to surgery. So, now we are in the waiting room with other people that are coming in to check in or waiting for someone to get out of surgery and in walks this family... Let me just say as I looked around EVERYONE'S jaws were dropped, not just mine. There was the mom (who was very skinny) carrying an infant. A rotund man holding the hand of a VERY VERY large little girl. I would estimate her to be between the ages of 4-5. She was seriously just as round as she was tall. I felt sorry for the girl at that age she doesn't choose what to eat and everyone was clearly shocked. Oh but do you think the story ends there? Oh no... Ten minutes later another man walks in who is the infants father then the mom runs out the front door, keeps it wide open and screams "Oh my God that is a badass do, that thing is looking so fresh" umm huh? I am pretty sure this was the aunt of the little girl and she proceeds to walk in with her two small children in tow, her partner, and two people that I am guessing are grandparents... While I realize surgery is serious do you really need your whole damn family there? Then proceeds the little family reunion of some language that is supposed to be English but clearly is being botched at every turn. The obese girl is sitting there screaming at the top of her lungs for her mom to connect her to the "tube" so she can watch spongebob and you can't even hear yourself think anymore. Thankfully, Shaun's surgery only took 30 minutes and we were back in recovery with him before my head exploded and I said something to piss them off and get my "do" yanked out.

Shaun did good in recovery and we were home by 10:00am. Now... pharmaceutical companies should really improve the taste of their liquid loratab. The motrin he will take with no problem at all. The loratab on the other hand turns him into the damn hulk and gets stronger each time I have to give it to him. Oh and the screams? Yeah, it sounds like I am killing him. He literally kicked me off the couch earlier and I have to give him this every four hours otherwise he turns into a crying, hurting little boy. So, I have decided the neighbors probably think I am killing him as there is no way in hell you couldn't hear him outside and when they do finally call the police I will make damn sure the police help me give him his medicine :) Only because I need a laugh as I have had no sleep for almost two days and I am pretty sure this cute little two year old that turns into a raging maniac with super strength would even be too much for two police officers and well that my friends would be hilarious; getting defeated by a two year old :)

Friday, October 28, 2011

Court Update

I first wake up to my partner messing with my foot asking me what time I am supposed to get up. I was a little frustrated as the alarm clock was set so WHY would he wake me up and ask me? Apparently, the alarm clock never went off (on further inspection I had set it to the radio alarm, not the beep beep alarm and if it gets set to radio it doesn't go off for some reason). So, I was already behind in getting ready and only had ten minutes to get ready. Good thing I laid out my clothes the night before, so I went sans makeup and hair cute.

I get there right at 8:30 and check in through the DA's office. Then wait and wait and wait. A hour later in a hard chair my ass is numb and my back killing me with a kid in my ribs in walks the prosecutor. She looks at me and says "ahhh you must be S the woman of the hour" I couldn't help it but I looked at her and said if I am the woman of the hour you must have a really shitty case because I never actually witnessed anything and probably couldn't even identify him in a lineup... Worry set on her face (This made my day for the simple fact I was already pissed to be there since technically I didn't know anything except that he drove my car).

She goes over the questions and asks what happens and realizes out of all four of us, we truly don't know anything. Two witnesses were the owners of the house then me who can only say he had my car for a couple hours with my brother and the other one who say three boys in a car that resembled mine - that's it. Not much to go off on a case really. Had the police done their job right the first time this wouldn't be an issue as the boys never would have even gotten the stuff from the driveway of the owners because the witness called the police on this suspicious vehicle stating that there was three boys putting items into a car from a house that the people were on vacation, who he could not identify.

Anyways, she says she is going to get a judge assigned and we just have to wait in the DA's office until we are called. At 11am some lady comes in and says that the boy is taking a plea bargin of aiding in a felony; meaning he helped take the items from the house knowing that it was not the boys property. Probation for a year for him.

Three hours of my time wasted oh and if anyone is curious I didn't recognize him sitting in the court room because it has been TWO years. 

Thursday, October 27, 2011

New OB

Yesterday I had the pleasure of switching OB's. The experience so far has been good with Dr. K. Now too bad my old OB hasn't sent over my records yet even though I signed the paperwork to have them released six days ago (four business days), which is frustrating.

Dr. K answered all my questions and baby is looking good with a healthy heartbeat and my uterus is the size it is supposed to be. VBAC is a no go since I have had two c-sections. I am getting my tubes tied after discussing options with her. I feel confident that this doctor and this clinic are a good fit for this pregnancy.

Also, what I thought was kind of cool they have sewn tube tops that go down to your butt to slip on instead of gowns and real cloth drapes for your legs - never seen anything like that before - paper gowns & drapes be gone.

10 more weeks and baby will be here :)

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Crying in the Corner

If you see a pregnant blonde crying in a corner, it's probably me. This week has been so rough with the kids I literally sat down and cried tonight only to have a smile brought to my face by my two year old tiptoeing out of his room with sunglasses on and a goofy smile.

This week they have effectively pushed every button that exists in me. I just want to scream, cry, kick, and hide in bed. I literally thought about leaving my kids with someone for a couple hours and just escaping to my moms for a while because mommy needs a timeout. It sucks that I don't have much help...

The events that transpired causing me to have a breakdown today: MS went to school so that is usually nap time around here. Read SM a story eyes closing, cup in hand I walk away and go lay down. I wake up a hour later to find SM with a tub of butter and aloe vera gel mixed together all over the couch. Then MS gets home and the fighting ensues immediately: the full monty of kicking, hitting, biting, and fighting over anything that could possibly be fought over. While cleaning the bathroom MS snuck off with the comet - do you know what a child can do with comet and approximately two minutes? LOTS. SM's carpet is covered in it, the living room floor, and couch again with the damn couch. At this point they are in big trouble for playing with cleaner and THEY KNOW BETTER! It is like I can't turn my back for more than a second or all hell breaks loose on the house. Again, I wish I had more help. The inner voice in me is just screaming I can't take this anymore so all I could do is huddle beside the couch and cry and cry I did. This whole week has been incidents like this (while brushing her teeth last night she turns on the sink and puts a whole roll of toilet paper in the sink flooding the bathroom) and CONSTANT fighting I am at my wits in and just need a break even if it is just 15 minutes where the kids aren't getting into something that makes a mess or could potentially kill them.

Shut Up While You Are Ahead!

So, I am 29 weeks with my third child and this is the commentary that happened the other night between my partner and I.

*Scene: I am leaning against the counter waiting for my hot milk to be done in the microwave*
DumbMan: I understand now what it feels like to have a big stomach (btw he is a size 30)
Me: and how do you know this?
DumbMan: because I have gained 5 lbs. and now it is harder to breathe and walk
Me: *snorts* you will never get it but thanks for trying to understand, it must be SO hard to gain 5 lbs, poor man
DumbMan: yeah it is hard, I now understand pregnancy
Me: (Getting frustrated now) No, you won't get it. Try gaining weight ONLY in your stomach, have a baby kicking you as you try to sleep, or punching your bladder and seeing how close we can get mommy to peeing herself, constant back pain, swollen feet and I am not even done growing this baby. You should quit while you are ahead buddy.
DumbMan: yeah... maybe I should

**2nd Scene: he had brought home a bag of tootsie rolls (my newest craving)**
Me: *reaching into candy bag* thanks for the tootsie rolls, I have been trying to avoid them
Idiot: Just be careful I saw how many you took I don't want him coming out diabetic
Me: ummm I took 5 SMALL tootsie rolls AND I have only gained 5 lbs. and passed my glucose test, so you can kiss my butt - I deserve these tootsie rolls
Idiot: Well, I won't say I told you so when you are complaining after the baby is born that he is huge from diabetes and you can't lose all the baby weight...
Me: yeah go f*** yourself

(I think somebody has been reading too much google stuff, he must forget I have been pregnant twice before)

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

SM (who is almost three now, which I can't believe) has to get his tonsils and adenoids removed and tubes put in. Every time I think about it I shudder, knowing what could possibly go wrong makes me go still with fear. I know what he will feel like as I had the same thing when I was three and if I could take all his pain away when it is done I would in a heartbeat.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't one of those people that needs to know everything about something and be happily obliviously to certain facts and be okay with him get surgery. Even though it is a surgery that lasts less than and hour and he will be home the same day (within hours) it is STILL surgery and has the same risks associated with it as inpatient surgery. There are so many what-ifs that I can't even begin letting myself imagine because they are all horrible, life shattering circumstances. I am not naive I know what can happen but I am trying to stay calm about it but I can't help thinking about it every time I see my little boy bopping his head as he walks, his cute little feet, and his adorable smile.

November 9th is the day - I will probably be curled in a corner praying until he comes out of recovery.

Monday, October 24, 2011


Back almost two years ago I let three teenage boys borrow my car. I even posted it on facebook as a joke saying I would regret it and many others had the same sentiments. So, now I ask myself WHY WHY WHY did I let them do that? I must be an idiot. Now, almost two years later I am going to court to testify in a breaking and entering case where they used MY car to remove the stolen goods from the house. Again, I must be an idiot!

I hate everything about court, they make me nervous and the unknown scares the crap out of me. The smell, the people, the formalities -- all of it scares me to death even though I am not the one in trouble. Testifying scares me as well - what if this person I am testifying against decides to seek retribution? He obviously knows where I live - so to say I am scared is an understatement even though I shouldn't be... right?