Wednesday my son Shaun (who is 2 now) had to have surgery. He had his tonsils removed, adenoids yanked out, and temporary ear tubes put in. Now, let me just say this blog post may be offensive to some. If it is well too damn bad (not that I have readers anyway ha).
We get there at 6am, get him checked in and led off to the back to get prepared for surgery. He was the perfect little boy and I felt horrible for praising him for being so good when he had no idea what he was in for (yes, I cried). He even let the nurse carry him off to surgery. So, now we are in the waiting room with other people that are coming in to check in or waiting for someone to get out of surgery and in walks this family... Let me just say as I looked around EVERYONE'S jaws were dropped, not just mine. There was the mom (who was very skinny) carrying an infant. A rotund man holding the hand of a VERY VERY large little girl. I would estimate her to be between the ages of 4-5. She was seriously just as round as she was tall. I felt sorry for the girl at that age she doesn't choose what to eat and everyone was clearly shocked. Oh but do you think the story ends there? Oh no... Ten minutes later another man walks in who is the infants father then the mom runs out the front door, keeps it wide open and screams "Oh my God that is a badass do, that thing is looking so fresh" umm huh? I am pretty sure this was the aunt of the little girl and she proceeds to walk in with her two small children in tow, her partner, and two people that I am guessing are grandparents... While I realize surgery is serious do you really need your whole damn family there? Then proceeds the little family reunion of some language that is supposed to be English but clearly is being botched at every turn. The obese girl is sitting there screaming at the top of her lungs for her mom to connect her to the "tube" so she can watch spongebob and you can't even hear yourself think anymore. Thankfully, Shaun's surgery only took 30 minutes and we were back in recovery with him before my head exploded and I said something to piss them off and get my "do" yanked out.
Shaun did good in recovery and we were home by 10:00am. Now... pharmaceutical companies should really improve the taste of their liquid loratab. The motrin he will take with no problem at all. The loratab on the other hand turns him into the damn hulk and gets stronger each time I have to give it to him. Oh and the screams? Yeah, it sounds like I am killing him. He literally kicked me off the couch earlier and I have to give him this every four hours otherwise he turns into a crying, hurting little boy. So, I have decided the neighbors probably think I am killing him as there is no way in hell you couldn't hear him outside and when they do finally call the police I will make damn sure the police help me give him his medicine :) Only because I need a laugh as I have had no sleep for almost two days and I am pretty sure this cute little two year old that turns into a raging maniac with super strength would even be too much for two police officers and well that my friends would be hilarious; getting defeated by a two year old :)
I first wake up to my partner messing with my foot asking me what time I am supposed to get up. I was a little frustrated as the alarm clock was set so WHY would he wake me up and ask me? Apparently, the alarm clock never went off (on further inspection I had set it to the radio alarm, not the beep beep alarm and if it gets set to radio it doesn't go off for some reason). So, I was already behind in getting ready and only had ten minutes to get ready. Good thing I laid out my clothes the night before, so I went sans makeup and hair cute.
I get there right at 8:30 and check in through the DA's office. Then wait and wait and wait. A hour later in a hard chair my ass is numb and my back killing me with a kid in my ribs in walks the prosecutor. She looks at me and says "ahhh you must be S the woman of the hour" I couldn't help it but I looked at her and said if I am the woman of the hour you must have a really shitty case because I never actually witnessed anything and probably couldn't even identify him in a lineup... Worry set on her face (This made my day for the simple fact I was already pissed to be there since technically I didn't know anything except that he drove my car).
She goes over the questions and asks what happens and realizes out of all four of us, we truly don't know anything. Two witnesses were the owners of the house then me who can only say he had my car for a couple hours with my brother and the other one who say three boys in a car that resembled mine - that's it. Not much to go off on a case really. Had the police done their job right the first time this wouldn't be an issue as the boys never would have even gotten the stuff from the driveway of the owners because the witness called the police on this suspicious vehicle stating that there was three boys putting items into a car from a house that the people were on vacation, who he could not identify.
Anyways, she says she is going to get a judge assigned and we just have to wait in the DA's office until we are called. At 11am some lady comes in and says that the boy is taking a plea bargin of aiding in a felony; meaning he helped take the items from the house knowing that it was not the boys property. Probation for a year for him.
Three hours of my time wasted oh and if anyone is curious I didn't recognize him sitting in the court room because it has been TWO years.
Yesterday I had the pleasure of switching OB's. The experience so far has been good with Dr. K. Now too bad my old OB hasn't sent over my records yet even though I signed the paperwork to have them released six days ago (four business days), which is frustrating.
Dr. K answered all my questions and baby is looking good with a healthy heartbeat and my uterus is the size it is supposed to be. VBAC is a no go since I have had two c-sections. I am getting my tubes tied after discussing options with her. I feel confident that this doctor and this clinic are a good fit for this pregnancy.
Also, what I thought was kind of cool they have sewn tube tops that go down to your butt to slip on instead of gowns and real cloth drapes for your legs - never seen anything like that before - paper gowns & drapes be gone.
If you see a pregnant blonde crying in a corner, it's probably me. This week has been so rough with the kids I literally sat down and cried tonight only to have a smile brought to my face by my two year old tiptoeing out of his room with sunglasses on and a goofy smile.
This week they have effectively pushed every button that exists in me. I just want to scream, cry, kick, and hide in bed. I literally thought about leaving my kids with someone for a couple hours and just escaping to my moms for a while because mommy needs a timeout. It sucks that I don't have much help...
The events that transpired causing me to have a breakdown today: MS went to school so that is usually nap time around here. Read SM a story eyes closing, cup in hand I walk away and go lay down. I wake up a hour later to find SM with a tub of butter and aloe vera gel mixed together all over the couch. Then MS gets home and the fighting ensues immediately: the full monty of kicking, hitting, biting, and fighting over anything that could possibly be fought over. While cleaning the bathroom MS snuck off with the comet - do you know what a child can do with comet and approximately two minutes? LOTS. SM's carpet is covered in it, the living room floor, and couch again with the damn couch. At this point they are in big trouble for playing with cleaner and THEY KNOW BETTER! It is like I can't turn my back for more than a second or all hell breaks loose on the house. Again, I wish I had more help. The inner voice in me is just screaming I can't take this anymore so all I could do is huddle beside the couch and cry and cry I did. This whole week has been incidents like this (while brushing her teeth last night she turns on the sink and puts a whole roll of toilet paper in the sink flooding the bathroom) and CONSTANT fighting I am at my wits in and just need a break even if it is just 15 minutes where the kids aren't getting into something that makes a mess or could potentially kill them.
So, I am 29 weeks with my third child and this is the commentary that happened the other night between my partner and I.
*Scene: I am leaning against the counter waiting for my hot milk to be done in the microwave*
DumbMan: I understand now what it feels like to have a big stomach (btw he is a size 30)
Me: and how do you know this?
DumbMan: because I have gained 5 lbs. and now it is harder to breathe and walk
Me: *snorts* you will never get it but thanks for trying to understand, it must be SO hard to gain 5 lbs, poor man
DumbMan: yeah it is hard, I now understand pregnancy
Me: (Getting frustrated now) No, you won't get it. Try gaining weight ONLY in your stomach, have a baby kicking you as you try to sleep, or punching your bladder and seeing how close we can get mommy to peeing herself, constant back pain, swollen feet and I am not even done growing this baby. You should quit while you are ahead buddy.
DumbMan: yeah... maybe I should
**2nd Scene: he had brought home a bag of tootsie rolls (my newest craving)**
Me: *reaching into candy bag* thanks for the tootsie rolls, I have been trying to avoid them
Idiot: Just be careful I saw how many you took I don't want him coming out diabetic
Me: ummm I took 5 SMALL tootsie rolls AND I have only gained 5 lbs. and passed my glucose test, so you can kiss my butt - I deserve these tootsie rolls
Idiot: Well, I won't say I told you so when you are complaining after the baby is born that he is huge from diabetes and you can't lose all the baby weight...
Me: yeah go f*** yourself
(I think somebody has been reading too much google stuff, he must forget I have been pregnant twice before)
SM (who is almost three now, which I can't believe) has to get his tonsils and adenoids removed and tubes put in. Every time I think about it I shudder, knowing what could possibly go wrong makes me go still with fear. I know what he will feel like as I had the same thing when I was three and if I could take all his pain away when it is done I would in a heartbeat.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't one of those people that needs to know everything about something and be happily obliviously to certain facts and be okay with him get surgery. Even though it is a surgery that lasts less than and hour and he will be home the same day (within hours) it is STILL surgery and has the same risks associated with it as inpatient surgery. There are so many what-ifs that I can't even begin letting myself imagine because they are all horrible, life shattering circumstances. I am not naive I know what can happen but I am trying to stay calm about it but I can't help thinking about it every time I see my little boy bopping his head as he walks, his cute little feet, and his adorable smile.
November 9th is the day - I will probably be curled in a corner praying until he comes out of recovery.
Back almost two years ago I let three teenage boys borrow my car. I even posted it on facebook as a joke saying I would regret it and many others had the same sentiments. So, now I ask myself WHY WHY WHY did I let them do that? I must be an idiot. Now, almost two years later I am going to court to testify in a breaking and entering case where they used MY car to remove the stolen goods from the house. Again, I must be an idiot!
I hate everything about court, they make me nervous and the unknown scares the crap out of me. The smell, the people, the formalities -- all of it scares me to death even though I am not the one in trouble. Testifying scares me as well - what if this person I am testifying against decides to seek retribution? He obviously knows where I live - so to say I am scared is an understatement even though I shouldn't be... right?
I have been seeing the same OB since I was pregnant with SM (three years ago), this pregnancy of course I went to her again as she took pretty good care of me last time. In the span of three years she has changed a lot. I am not going to doctor bash because I understand she is probably just really busy as the lobby seems to be filled to the seams when I go in and she rushes in and out of the room (I literally spend two minutes with the nurse for vitals, any complaints and see the doctor for four minutes) none of my complaints get addressed and she won't let me get a word in edge wise.
Here has been the typical visits so far (background my 1st pregnancy I had IUGR and have had 2 c-sections)
Nurse comes in does weight and vitals - asks for allergies, medications, complaints (which besides one visit there have been no complaints, just normal pregnancy aches that I don't need to address)
Doctor comes in: Asks how are you - I say good. She checked my cervix on the first visit at 8 weeks and nothing since. She checked heart rate once and I have never had my uterus measured (the only reason a different doctor caught my IUGR as I wasn't growing) I have only put on 5 lbs and I am 29 weeks and I feel like there should be more care. I am not saying that I want her to oogle over me but I would at least like her to measure me to make sure I am growing. I don't want numerous sonograms (even though they are cool). I don't feel like I am asking for much, am I? Especially since I know how she was in my last pregnancy with SM she did all of these things.
So, I made the decision to switch OB practices. She comes highly recommended by a few of my friends so at 29 weeks I am going to a different OB. Hopefully she will not be as busy and have some time for patient care. Also, maybe when I ask for a VBAC she won't just say "too dangerous" and walk out of the room without even discussing the "dangers" of it compared to another c-section.
Do you ever just let your kids do what they want just so you can get some quiet time? Yeah that was me the other day and here is what resulted. The kids took my yarn (which I told them they could have) and made a very large spider web involving four chairs and a kitchen table. They loved it, had fun with and then got tired of sharing... Result? Screaming, hitting, kicking, and tantrums from the both of them. Well, my quiet time only last about 20 minutes but it was enough to be able to handle their outbursts without wanting to run out of the house yelling and screaming. Yet, it was not worth the thirty minutes it took me to cut all the yarn off these chairs and put it in the trash when they could no longer get along.... Oy vey what a day!
It sure has been a long time since blogging, eight whole months have went by.
I was looking through my blog and realized at that time I was trying to lose weight. I did in fact lose about fifteen pounds but now I am pregnant. No losing weight from me now. The baby is a boy and will be born in January. This will be my last little bambino, going to get my tubes tied. Three kids is enough for this momma and to the parents that have more, more power to you but my nerves just can't handle it!
Things have been stressful around here but nothing the Lord and I can't handle. He will give me strength to get through my struggles.
MS is doing great, I can't believe she is four now! Where does the time go? She loves pre-school and we have her first parent-teacher conference tonight. She is getting more and more of an attitude as the days go by! She has a loose tooth (I didn't even realize she was getting to that age already ACK!).
SM is doing good to. He is a growing boy that if I let him survive on junk food he would be perfectly happy with the world. He knows his ABC's and can count... Now if only he would understand his colors haha. He loves to draw and does a pretty good job of it actually.
Okay... so this is it: honesty time. I weigh (dun dun dun) 192 pounds and I am 56 1/2". My bmi is 31.1 (IN THE OBESE RANGE?!?!) First: I lie about my height all the time, I say I am 5'8 its even on my ,drivers license, the only people that know my lie is the doctor, only because they measure me... Second: I lie about my weight I always say 160, its on my license too :) Okay so I was a little shocked with my BMI and being obese I mean really? I have a little pudge, I can still see my toes, I don't have three chins and I wear a size 12 (womens) So how the heck can I be obese? A little over weight yes, obese no?! At 180 I would be in the Overweight range and 150 would be healthy (that is the max of healthy) so realistically I would have to lose 42 pounds HOLY CRAP! Thats a lot, the last time I was 150 I was 16 (?) I was itty bitty. I don't want to be a stick, I want curves! I don't want to look like a starved Ethopian woman... So I gotta lose weight. I want to lose weight, I want to be healthy so I gotta get my act together. I have to start working my BIG butt out! I am getting exhausted just thinking about all the work I am going to have to do. I guess thats what got me in this mess in the first place. I want that weight loss pill I think its called phenermine or something like that, then I wouldn't have to work my butt off. My neighbor and her friend took it and they lost tons of pounds... Hmm maybe I should look into that option, but I would probably just gain it all back and then be all pissed off. My doctor would probably laugh at me anyway asking for such crazy medicines. I still can't believe I am obese, when I think of obese I think of someone that is large, can't fit in a seat etc. Not me, I look just a little pudgy. Ugh so there is my truth its out there, no turning back now its time to kick my butt in gear. I will report back next week on all the crazy stuff I am doing to shed 42 lbs. Honestly I am just looking forward to the shopping spree :)
Did anyone make new years resolutions this year? I'm guilty, I did it again. Made the resolutions that will probably never happen. So what are we doing setting ourselves up for failure at the beginning of a New Year that we always says its going to be a better year?! So... we should make a resolution to make no resolutions so that we can't disappoint ourselves! Are you following me?
So, to 2011 (I know its almost 30 days late) may it be a better year and make our resolution to not many any!