Thursday, December 18, 2008

Scared Out Of My Mind

We arrived home tonight around 9:15pm, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. We were in a fairly chipper mood as we had just finished our last final of the semester and were quite happy about it! I sit on the couch and look outside my window (we live in a close community) and see the door of a vacant house open with the lights on and I found this weird. I called the community manager and she said it was her in there and to come over she wanted to show me something seeing as we live next door. Apparently while we had been gone someone had gotten into the house and set fire to it several places. The walls scorched, the carpet gone in some places, it was like living my worst fear. She believes she knows who it was and the police were able to get a print off of one of the smoke detectors. Hopefully they catch the person and its an isolated incident. I hope they catch the person so that I will be able to sleep at night. I am scared to death of having a fire, it is one of my worst fears. When I came home, I tested all the smoke detectors (we have one in every room) fortunately they all work but I am still scared to death that a fire will start in our house and I won't be able to reach MS in time or we won't be able to get out. It makes my heart race just thinking about it. Then in talking to the manager she also told me there is a serial rapist on the loose. Again, this is not comforting as I was raped when I was 13 years old, fortunately I sent that sorry bastard to jail and was able to get my justice unlike so many other people, but it still scares me. The reason she knew this was going on? She unfortunately was one of the victims. I didn't know what to say, I was speechless-what do you say to someone that has been raped. I'm sorry to hear that just don't cut it-it was very uncomfortable since I have only known her for two months. I just wanted to grab her up and hug her but I wasn't sure that was appropriate either. Now not only am I scared that I am going to wake up with my house on fire but now I am going to be constantly looking over my shoulder and eyeballing everyone just a little bit closer in fear that I will be raped as well. This is a small town (only a population of MAYBE 5,000 people) and things like this are not supposed to happen. We have only had only murder in the past ten years and that was a domestic issue, not someone who just came up and shot someone. What is this world coming to, I lived in a world where I thought that small town was safe and now I am really beginning to get a reality check. I am scared, I am on edge, and I will definitely be paying a lot more attention to everything around me instead of being oblivious to the things that could possibly happen at anytime. Am I over-reacting?

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