What do I write? I am totally at a loss for emotions let alone words. Right now life is just going, same old routine, no change, just there. Not that I am complaining I just wish I got out of my house more often. But it seems anytime I get out of the house (like yesterday) MS does something really cute and I miss it. I feel bad for missing my daughter laugh. Maybe when I have my mom watch her I will instruct her to not tell me anything she does anymore so I don't feel horrible about missing it. Maybe I just won't ever leave again so I don't miss anything, I don't know because I think I want a job, but then again I don't know. I am so indecisive lately, I don't know what my problem is lately. I am just stuck between what I think I want that day, even though I don't really want to...
I have also realized a lot of people are "friends of convenience" this has really put a damper in my day to day activities. I have done a lot for the person that I haven't known very long, I thought she was a friend. I am opening my eyes and realizing that she only comes around when she wants something or needs me to watch her kid. I have also noticed she is FULL of drama, I have my own problems people, I don't need yours! She is constantly having an problem that could be avoided if she would just think about things for once, but I don't think she has anymore brain cells left!
I have realized my mom is a fantastic person, I didn't give her enough credit for the woman she is. I used to say "I will never be like my mom" well now I am re-tracting that statement I hope I am woman enough to be just like my mom. I would be so lucky to even be half the woman that my mom is. She is totally honest, kind, caring, blunt, can take care of anything that goes wrong. My mom can paint, draw, do anything you want her to. My mom takes pride in everything she does and I just hope I become like her one day.
Friday, June 22, 2007
Friday, June 01, 2007
I really under-estimated how much a stay at home mother really does! I thought this stuff would be easy... You know watch some tv and just relax. Boy was I wrong. I am constantly cleaning and taking care of MS I hardly sit down through the day... I think having a job would be easier to do then to stay at home. It seems like nothing is ever done and I am constantly doing it over and over. I love staying home with MS but its hard!
MS is doing great, she is rolling over both ways now and starting to scoot around the house. Its hilarious! She puts her butt in the air kicks her legs and puts her head down and off she goes, maybe I can catch a picture of her doing it one of these days! I don't know how people can catch all their children's first moments I feel like such a horrible mother but by the time she is doing it I want to keep watching her instead of running for the camera... Maybe I could just attach the camera to me everyday so I could get all of those moments haha!
M is enjoying his job still despite all the idiots but I will save those stories for later, maybe when I actually have the time to sit here in type. I really should be putting away clothes but hey this girl needs a break!
My froggy-friend is coming into town tomorrow I am so excited, I haven't seen her in almost a month YAY!
I have made some new friends since being here that live across from us, its almost like New York (stereo-typed) sitting on our porch's looking at each other and talking... lots and lots of talking its great!