Thursday, November 10, 2011

I Won't Be Surprised To Have The Police Show Up

Wednesday my son Shaun (who is 2 now) had to have surgery. He had his tonsils removed, adenoids yanked out, and temporary ear tubes put in. Now, let me just say this blog post may be offensive to some. If it is well too damn bad (not that I have readers anyway ha).

We get there at 6am, get him checked in and led off to the back to get prepared for surgery. He was the perfect little boy and I felt horrible for praising him for being so good when he had no idea what he was in for (yes, I cried). He even let the nurse carry him off to surgery. So, now we are in the waiting room with other people that are coming in to check in or waiting for someone to get out of surgery and in walks this family... Let me just say as I looked around EVERYONE'S jaws were dropped, not just mine. There was the mom (who was very skinny) carrying an infant. A rotund man holding the hand of a VERY VERY large little girl. I would estimate her to be between the ages of 4-5. She was seriously just as round as she was tall. I felt sorry for the girl at that age she doesn't choose what to eat and everyone was clearly shocked. Oh but do you think the story ends there? Oh no... Ten minutes later another man walks in who is the infants father then the mom runs out the front door, keeps it wide open and screams "Oh my God that is a badass do, that thing is looking so fresh" umm huh? I am pretty sure this was the aunt of the little girl and she proceeds to walk in with her two small children in tow, her partner, and two people that I am guessing are grandparents... While I realize surgery is serious do you really need your whole damn family there? Then proceeds the little family reunion of some language that is supposed to be English but clearly is being botched at every turn. The obese girl is sitting there screaming at the top of her lungs for her mom to connect her to the "tube" so she can watch spongebob and you can't even hear yourself think anymore. Thankfully, Shaun's surgery only took 30 minutes and we were back in recovery with him before my head exploded and I said something to piss them off and get my "do" yanked out.

Shaun did good in recovery and we were home by 10:00am. Now... pharmaceutical companies should really improve the taste of their liquid loratab. The motrin he will take with no problem at all. The loratab on the other hand turns him into the damn hulk and gets stronger each time I have to give it to him. Oh and the screams? Yeah, it sounds like I am killing him. He literally kicked me off the couch earlier and I have to give him this every four hours otherwise he turns into a crying, hurting little boy. So, I have decided the neighbors probably think I am killing him as there is no way in hell you couldn't hear him outside and when they do finally call the police I will make damn sure the police help me give him his medicine :) Only because I need a laugh as I have had no sleep for almost two days and I am pretty sure this cute little two year old that turns into a raging maniac with super strength would even be too much for two police officers and well that my friends would be hilarious; getting defeated by a two year old :)

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