Tuesday, October 25, 2011

SM (who is almost three now, which I can't believe) has to get his tonsils and adenoids removed and tubes put in. Every time I think about it I shudder, knowing what could possibly go wrong makes me go still with fear. I know what he will feel like as I had the same thing when I was three and if I could take all his pain away when it is done I would in a heartbeat.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't one of those people that needs to know everything about something and be happily obliviously to certain facts and be okay with him get surgery. Even though it is a surgery that lasts less than and hour and he will be home the same day (within hours) it is STILL surgery and has the same risks associated with it as inpatient surgery. There are so many what-ifs that I can't even begin letting myself imagine because they are all horrible, life shattering circumstances. I am not naive I know what can happen but I am trying to stay calm about it but I can't help thinking about it every time I see my little boy bopping his head as he walks, his cute little feet, and his adorable smile.

November 9th is the day - I will probably be curled in a corner praying until he comes out of recovery.

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