Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Shut Up While You Are Ahead!

So, I am 29 weeks with my third child and this is the commentary that happened the other night between my partner and I.

*Scene: I am leaning against the counter waiting for my hot milk to be done in the microwave*
DumbMan: I understand now what it feels like to have a big stomach (btw he is a size 30)
Me: and how do you know this?
DumbMan: because I have gained 5 lbs. and now it is harder to breathe and walk
Me: *snorts* you will never get it but thanks for trying to understand, it must be SO hard to gain 5 lbs, poor man
DumbMan: yeah it is hard, I now understand pregnancy
Me: (Getting frustrated now) No, you won't get it. Try gaining weight ONLY in your stomach, have a baby kicking you as you try to sleep, or punching your bladder and seeing how close we can get mommy to peeing herself, constant back pain, swollen feet and I am not even done growing this baby. You should quit while you are ahead buddy.
DumbMan: yeah... maybe I should

**2nd Scene: he had brought home a bag of tootsie rolls (my newest craving)**
Me: *reaching into candy bag* thanks for the tootsie rolls, I have been trying to avoid them
Idiot: Just be careful I saw how many you took I don't want him coming out diabetic
Me: ummm I took 5 SMALL tootsie rolls AND I have only gained 5 lbs. and passed my glucose test, so you can kiss my butt - I deserve these tootsie rolls
Idiot: Well, I won't say I told you so when you are complaining after the baby is born that he is huge from diabetes and you can't lose all the baby weight...
Me: yeah go f*** yourself

(I think somebody has been reading too much google stuff, he must forget I have been pregnant twice before)

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