I have been tossing and turning all night, wondering this wondering that. It seemed like at every hour my eyes would pop open and hit me with yet another question. I swear M thinks I am going crazy, because I would sit there and ponder these questions and of course have to wake him up to discuss them because I felt they were just that important. Even though now looking back, it was more amusing then importance.
2am I woke up to wondering what if my parents could get here when the baby is born because there is a tornado? Great question right? Especially for 2 o'clock in the morning when the rest of the world is sleeping. I ponder well what if they had to run up and under a over pass to avoid it, would it be their death? Would they die on the day their grandchild is born? I sat and thought and seriously thought (I know your thinking I am crazy! I am beginning to think so) So, finally I could take it anymore! I woke M up to ask him about this question that has cluttered my sleep. He first started laughing and said where do you come up with these things? Which kinda hurt my feelings :( But then he said well they just wouldn't be able to make it see her born but they could see her afterwards. So, I was satisfied with the answer and everything was okay again.
3am I was awoke to yet another daunting question. This time it was will MS love me immediately and will I love her immediately? I mean don't get me wrong people I have feelings I could never have for some one other then my child in my stomach right now, but I can't quite say if its love or not. So, I lay there, half crying, half trying to think intellectually about all this. Finally I couldn't take it anymore. I woke M up!
Me: Honey??? Honey??? Honey???
M: What Now?
Me: Will I love MS as soon as I see her?
M: Do you like your pets when you first get them?
M: Okay you will love MS a when you first see her
Not sure if that was really the best answer for M to say but it helped me go to sleep for the rest of the night and here I am now.
I have begun to think I am absolutely certifiably wacko nuts! I can never find anything anymore. If I put my cup down, 90% chance of me not finding it again that day. In M's words "the baby is sucking your brain out" thinks sweetie. Love you too :)