Monday, August 02, 2010
Isn't it funny that the average stay-at-home mom that blogs generally blogs when they are unhappy with their lives? Well, I am keeping with that statistic because I only seem to blog when I am upset with the way things are going. I have hit some rough patches that I haven't blogged about but in general today is just a bad day and I really don't see it getting any better. The house is a mess, I am a mess, my kids are a mess, my friendships are a mess and well my marriage couldn't be considered neat and tidy right now either. I am definitely depressed and my medication is no longer working for me if I am this big of a mess. Right now as I type I have dishes to do, living room to clean, shampoo all over the bathroom floor, kids playing bubbles in the house and I really have no motivation to fix any of it. My back stabbing neighbor who I called a friend has now destroyed a good friendship of my with another friend. I don't get time with my husband anymore because we are both too tired-marriage is like an ebb & flow and right now its definitely on the ebb. satan is trying to get his strongholds on me and I keep fighting and fighting. I shouldn't complain, Jesus was made who he was through suffering so who I am to complain? Suffering makes you who you are, brings you closer to God, but I am only human and I am not enjoying this suffering. I just wish people who said they are their friends would actually be a real friend instead of going behind your back and backstabbing you. I am trying to love my neighbor but love those who persecute you more, but its a hard thing to practice.