The Evil Pacifier

This is the pacifier... It is EVIIIILL! MS unfortunately loves the stupid thing. So its time to outweigh the pros and cons

PROS
-It is said that a pacifier can decrease SIDS by 20 %
- it will soothe her when she is crying and sometimes get me and extra 30 min-hour sleep (which is a big pro)
- Since she is a preemie-they say it helps them gain weight faster (only a handful of reports published about this topic, so not too sure if its correct or not)
- She really seems to enjoy sucking on the evil thing

CONS
-at night if she loses it she screams until it is back in place-this happens about 10 times a night and it REALLY STINKS
-25% more likely to have chronic ear infections
-can cause dental problems (in children over 2 years old-which SHE WILL BE WEANED FROM IT BY THEN)

All in all the pros outweigh the cons its just less stressful for her to have it but more stressful for me. I just wish she would get tired of the pacifier and decide its no fun to suck on anymore... This is the ramblings of an over tired mommy haha!

In other news.
M's brother and sister-in-law are here in town so we have been enjoying visiting with them. They are really fun to hang out with and they seem to really like MS (its really cute).

Pull My Hair Out & Call My Britney Spears

Is this what I will be living in soon????

Today has been a very long day! I am sick of looking for places! The mortgage company that could finance a house offered a pretty crappy deal. They will cover 70% and we have to come down with 30%. Lets just put this into perspective a $50,000 house would be 15,000 down and a 50,000 dollar house is a rare find in the first place. So now house ownership is out of the question for the moment. We have two more places to pursue so hopefully we can get into one of them. We pushed back the move to Friday morning which is the last day that we can move. I am crossing my fingers and hoping that one of these come through because I really don't want to live with my parents. Living with my parents would be very stressful on everyone involved. As my wise husband says "your parents really like me now, I don't want it to be different."

On the MS front. She has been a little cranky butt today! She doesn't want daddy today. She wants to be held by mommy and screams if she isn't. I really hope she isn't getting sick because she normally isn't like this at all. She has a diaper rash from the Luv's diapers that we just tried so its back to Pampers, so much for trying to buy cheaper diapers! I feel so sorry for her little butt, she only wore them for a day but her butt is so raw (poor baby). She is rolling over all the time and its really scary, I can't put her someone and her stay in one spot. So now she is being placed in a bouncer/swing/or floor when I go to do other things because I am scared that she is going to fall off the bed or couch. I heard that you aren't supposed to put them in a bassinet after they start rolling but everything else is packed up so she will have to stay in that for a week longer (hopefully we have our own place in a week).

I just want this whole move to be over with so that I can get back into my routine again and have a house that is not full of boxes. It is going to be weird having M go back to work and I will have her all by myself. I am really not looking forward to that because I have relayed on him a lot (maybe too much) and I am scared that I can't do this all by myself!

Brick Walls & Dead Ends... Does it get better?

Well we are scheduled to move on the 3rd lets keep in mind people that it less than a week away LESS THAN A WEEK!!!!

Last month we almost locked into a rent-to-own 3 bedroom/2 bath, island stove all out gorgeous place. The guy we shall call him Mr. Icandoanything said that we would qualify no problem even after we told him about or not the greatest credit due to lovely student loans and a ex-wife. Again he says no problem they (lenders) won't care.

We begin to pack or what I thought tiny apartment until I begun to sort through things, but hey we are moving to a better place so its worth it RIGHT?

Well, the next day he calls and said well we had a little bit of a hitch and the lenders want you to have a co-signer. Well, I told him to call my father and talk to him about the details. Well that didn't work out. So now we are packed with no place to go.

We get on the phone and team up with my parents to find a place. So now we find a trailer for rent. Sounded really nice, my parents both loved and said they were sure we would to. Well okay lets pursue this. We told the lady about our credit she said it was fine we told them that my hubby had a felony (don't worry he didn't kill, assault, or rape anyone! It was more like the stupid state pursued a case even though the charges were dropped and it was a non-person level 10 (lowest) felong) anyways she said it wouldn't be a problem to get in. Well we get a call back the next day (keep in mind a $35 application fee) and said it was their policy to not let anyone with a felony live in the trailer park. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? We even explained the felony and that it was four years old to you and you said it would be okay! Now, its time to pull my hair out!

My mom said maybe it would be easier to get into a house and buy it. She talks to a realtor down their. The realtor emails me 6 different houses (keep in my mind my mom has explained everything) she says that Prudential can work with us and get us into something. I call the lady to tell her which houses I narrowed it down to so my mom can go look at them tomorrow (now today). I again re-iterate or credit and she says "oh well i didn't realize it was that bad" LADY I JUST TOLD YOU BEFORE WHAT OUR CREDIT SCORE WAS, WHATS SO HARD TO REALIZE???? So, she calls Wells Fargo and now they are trying to work with us (rolls eyes), he knows our credit score and he response was "well I can do things most people can't" well I am glad your confident in yourself but I definately not that confident in mr. egotistical!

We also called a place for rent (2bedroom/2bath) the man told me that he would think about the cats and get back to us. I call back later and the house has been rented out.

Is this our sign to NOT move? I know we have to move though because we live in a 1 bedroom apartment and we definately need more room their is no doubt about it. With small town M would be making more money and cost of living is cheaper than it is big town. Finacially this makes sense for us and I am getting really worried now that the 3rd is getting so close!

Dark & Rainy & Funny Stuff

The weather sure is affecting me today. I am in just one of "those" moods. I am sick of my house being torn up (due to moving) and I can't wait to just move so I have some order back in my life again. Right now my routine is total chaos and I am not liking it one bit!

Last night MS went to grandpa & grandma's so that we can pack some more (again trying to restore some balance in my house). They thought it was pretty cute that while lying on her tummy she can support herself on her hands and look directly at you. (Really, its kinda creepy that she is that strong, I really wasn't expecting her to be this strong so soon!

I can't wait to move into our nice 3 bedroom/2 bath house WITH A tornado shelter (a must in a part of Kansas known for getting bombed with tornados). I am so excited to get their and decorate (yes, i know i am nuts)! Or maybe i am just really excited because I will be getting out of this place that is called an "apartment" which is far from it! I would prefer to call it a dwelling that is falling apart as the landlord stands idly by because she isn't that smart and tries to fix everything herself.

Saturday M's brother and sister-in-law are coming into town. I am really excited to see them. Haven't seen them since our wedding (which has been a while). K (his sister-in-law) said she really wants to babysit well more power to her hahah. She might decide she never wants kids after this (in MS's defense she really isn't too bad, pretty well-natured but thats besides the point hah).

So, I guess I should title this post something different since most of my news is positive but I think I will keep it since after all its dark & rainy outside and I might just get blown away in a tornado today!!!

1 Month Old... How Time Passes So Quickly

MS is a month old today. I can't believe that she has been home with us for three weeks now. She is growing a lot! We went to the doctor on Friday and she is weighing 5 lbs. 12 oz. 18 1/2 inches long, head circumference 13 1/2 inches. So in the last month she has grown 1 lb. 10 oz. 1 1/2 inches long and her head has grown 1 1/2 inches. Thats insane! She is finally fitting really well into newborn clothes (yay, be ready for cute clothes pictures now haha)

She has quite the personality thats for sure. She definately has my temper and gets mad quickly but gets over it quickly too! She loves staring at me and M's face, lights, fans, and the Little Mermaid book. She could care less about any noises she will look where its coming from and then go right back to what she was doing beforehand. She is also in love with her pacifier, which I HATE HATE HATE, reason being I hate it is because even if she is dead asleep and loses it and wakes up screaming. Oh well its supposed to help prevent SIDS so I can't complain too much.

M and I decided we are definately moving to small town, KS and he is taking the job offer there. We are going to (most likely) be moving on May 2nd so its been pretty hectic around here packing and sorting and of course throwing things away.

I'm pretty excited about the move since I will be closer to my parents which I really miss a lot. On the other hand though I feel bad because M's parents are here and he for the most part has lived here his whole life. He is going to have to adjust to all the streets and probably get lost a couple times and won't be close to his family and I feel bad for that. Even though thats what I did last year when I came up to live with him but it seems different.

We have so much to do, I didn't realize how much CRAP we had laying around that is now filling up the dumpster. Thankfully we have 4 dumpsters that are picked up weekly otherwise nobody else would be able to their trash where it needs to go (which would be rather amusing, since our landlord lives here and we are extremely tired of the way she goes about things. But if I discuss that further this post would turn into a rant and I don't intend on making it that)

A Week in Reflection

I didn't know anybody that passed away, I didn't know anyone who even attends that school. But my heart goes out to the families and friends of these students. How could someone be so malice? I have found myself not even watching the news about it because even though I knew nobody it some what hits home. Now that I have a baby I couldn't imagine losing my only child or any child for that matter. These people that were murdered in cold blood are my age that could easily have been me and its scary. I just pray that the families find some peace in knowing that the person that murdered their children/siblings/best friends etc. will never walk the streets again and be able to hurt anymore people ever again.

What set him off? There are so many questions that will probably never be answered or any light shed on them. My heart goes out to these families

In other less depressing news, we are moving back to little town to a nice big house and M now has a good job once we get down there. Financially its a really good move for us and I will be about 10 minutes away from my parents. The only down-side is we are leaving M's parents and I feel bad for moving after just having MS and taking M away from them. But we would like to be better finacially so its a good move and I can't wait to be close to my family again!

MS is getting a lot bigger, its crazy how much she has grown! She is now standing when we hold her, its hilarious to see! Now if we could just get over puking everywhere life would be great!! She is now sleeping about 4 1/2 hours at night so I can't complain too much!

March of Dimes-Walk America

I decided today that I am going to walk in the March of Dimes Walk. I know MS wasn't that premature but it still hits home. Unfortunately many babies are very premature and aren't as lucky as MS to get out in 7 days and they need your help!

There are two ways you can help. (1) register to walk or (2) sponsor my team

Here is the link http://walkamerica.org/phelpsfamily

Date Night

Before we started our night I wrote out specific instructions for our little bundle of joy to make sure she wasn't too stressed out over different care & handling... yes I know I am truly a dork, but totally okay with that!

This is how we started the night with our precious little bundle of joy... very alert & awake, ready to eat for grandma & grandpa...

We went to Outback Steakhouse and had a great dinner... yummy shrimp! It then started snowing IN APRIL IN KANSAS! I thought that was CRAZY!

Then we went to Home Depot and bought cable ends... Still snowing very wet and COLLLLD!

Then we traveled to the mall... I decided I wanted to start reading to MS so we went to Foozles (a book store in there) they were having a great sale! We got a whole bunch of Dr. Seuss & Disney books, yes ME, I, THE DUMMY spent 50.00 on BOOKS for a child that won't be reading for a loooong time. Oh well she will just be able to recite every book from memory when I am through! mwhahaha

After that it was snowing pretty heavy and we went and got our sweet little baby! Here she is safe at home with mommy and daddy... sleeping (she does that well!)

All in all it was actually pretty nice to get out. I was wondering about her the whole time and I called a couple times to check on her. She doesn't seem traumatized by the whole thing so maybe M and I will have to make a habit of going out together once a month because it was a lot of fun.

Looking back on pictures I can't believe how much she has grown! Its insane how fast she is growing. I would love to get to the point where she sleeps through the night and then just stop her from growing even though I know it doesn't work that way :(

All Around Good Week

Things have started to settle down here now, which I am psyched about! MS sleeps through the night, we have to physically wake her up to feed her and then she goes right back to sleep, I really hope this continues. She is now wearing newborn clothes, they are still a little big but preemie clothes are to small. She has finally decided that the boob is good and I now don't have to mess with the stupid nipple shield. She is growing like a weed, she will be 3 weeks old tomorrow I can't believe it!

M is a great father, did I say great father? I really don't know what I would do without him. He is always helping out and making sure I am okay too. I need to start telling him thank you, because I am beginning to take all his help for granted and in May he has to go back to work and I will have to get up with her at night because he works hard and I wouldn't want him to be tired all day and driving. I think I need to come up with ideas to thank him, because just a plain thank you isn't good enough in my opinion.

Everything is going pretty good for me, I have found out that at 3 in the morning I am a pretty grumpy person and I pity M for having to deal with me. I have been able to get a shower everyday this week and clean the house, quite an accomplishment in my opinion. So here I sit squeaky clean in my clean living room, I know in about 6 months that my house will never be clean again. I am slowly coming to terms with that. My incision where they took MS out hurts again because of my stupid (STUPID STUPID) cat Trouble. I was sitting on the couch loving him and he decides to jump in the air and of course land on my incision... I am beginning to not like my cat at the moment!

Me and M are going to go out on Friday, I am nervous about leaving my baby with his parents. Not that I don't think his parents can take care of her I know they can and will but thats my baby and what if she cries the whole time I would feel horrible for leaving her... I guess once Friday comes we will see how I feel about this and if I can actually go through with leaving her for 2 hours while we go out to eat.

Infomercial really stink at 3 o'clock in the morning, why can't they have better things on? The should have a channel just for parents that are up that stinking early/late. GIVE US SOMETHING INTERESTING TO WATCH!!!!!

Am I Lying To Myself?

-I think she is getting bigger! She is starting to fit into newborn clothes and too small for preemie clothes.

-I will be extremely happy to see those preemie clothes being packed up, there aren't many cute clothes for preemies... hint hint designing people out there you could make some money in designing cute preemie clothes!

-Things are starting to get better besides the whole feeding schedule, which is now moving to every 3 1/2 hours instead of every 3 hours, we are getting some where people, slowly but surely!

-I actually cleaned my house yesterday, some how I ACTUALLY found time to clean, holy moly! Yes, I am very proud of that thank you very much!

-I have found the spot where I can get my me time... When MS is fussy and I really need to check out of mommy-hood for a while I will tell M I have to go to the bathroom and go poop, yes I know I am a liar but I am honestly okay with that because for 10 minutes I am in my quiet place and nobody bothers me. By revealing this I may have just blown that though....

-MS has discovered that she really likes me holding her when she goes to sleep, which I am okay with... I hope she always stays as cuddly as she is now but I doubt that will happen.

-She is holding her head up really well! YAY!

-She is smiling and now its been confirmed that its not just gas, she actually smiles when you tickle her or when she sees me or M. My little girl is already growing up and I don't think I am adjusting well to that yet. Even though sleeping through the night wouldn't be too bad in my opinion but its all worth it.

-Wow, I must be in a good mood today! I have been up most the night and I have a smile on my face! Thats pretty shocking, guess this is a sign that its going to be a great day (crosses fingers).

My Cat is Bigger than Your Cat!

-I have become to realize my whole life revolves around the munchkin whether I like it or not

-My nipples are very sore

-I hate pumping and I hate the stupid nipple shield, why won't she take my naked boob!!!?

-My cat is still bigger than she is and he is only 7lbs.

-I am a zombie, I am still not used to no sleep, I am still not believing anyone who tells me it will get better because then I will get my hopes up and it will never happen

-I love the little munchkin but she loves puking on me more

-Can you devoice a baby? Yeah thats what I thought, damn the luck

-Went to see the peditrician today and she is 4 lbs. 14 oz. now

Can't Sleep Baby Will Eat Me

Sleep? What is sleep? I think I have forgotten what sleep is all about. I know I lay in bed and close my eyes but that is as close to sleep as I have gotten in a while. MS is doing great she is becoming a lot more alert and loves looking at the fan, lights, and eyes... She has been smiling but I am sure its just gas! Went to the doctor yesterday and she weights 4 lbs. 10 oz so she is up 5 oz. in 5 days woohoo!

My birthday was on the 1st and I got a new digital camera (thanks mom &dad #2), so look for lots of MS pics and weird random pictures that I decide are worth taking...