Holy Moly!

I am already closing another chapter in my life. Tomorrow I will be a married woman, no longer a fiance'. I am scared to death about what the future holds for my life. I still haven't come to realize that I will be Mrs. Mismatch tomorrow. In front of all of our family and friends I am going to commit myself to M and it scares me to death. I am not scared because I know this is a lifelong commitment, I am not scared to be with him forever. I am scared because its something I have no control over. I have no control over my feelings for M which are so strong that it scares me. I have no control over M's feelings which he says are very deep and he proves that to me everyday in his actions towards me. How was I so lucky to ever meet someone like him? We are exact opposites with few things in common but some how it works fantastically. We know we can live with each other so that is not something I am concerned about. I am just scared of the future because I can not see into it.

My friend frogbfound threw me a Bridal Shower. It was really neat to see how much of my family traveled three hours just to be there. That really made me feel important that day. Even though we did have a few shall we say "incidents" everything went pretty good. I got a lot of really cool stuff that I wanted and some things that I hadn't requested (see picture) but hey even those unrequested items were pretty cool! Thanks everyone

For the "incident" this would include a lady I was friends with for a while. L was supposed to be in my wedding and was invited to the bridal shower. We had a falling out a couple weeks beforehand. Unfortunately should decided she could not handle this like an adult and decided to show up to to my Bridal Shower. I handled it pretty good, she pretended like she was returning a blanket I let her borrow for her son. I opened the door and she yelled bitch and threw the blanket. I was appalled and extremely embarrased all I could muster saying was Thank You. Why or why did you just say thank you? Really I could have came up with a better come back then that but Thank you? Oh well it was probably a good thing because had she said anything else my lack of judgement might have kicked in and I would say things that shouldn't be said in front of family, friends, and acquaintances from the church. After my company had left L had her sister-in-law call me and attempt to degrade me and this is where my lack of better judgement came in and I began to yell and scream absurdities to no end and hung up. But L's SIL was presistent and kept calling to which my good judgement came in and I just called the police. Charges have been filed for phone harrasment and these parties have been spoken with. I could never have a good time without just a little added drama now could I? Thus is life.

These are me and M's babies. Trouble & Gizmo... Trouble is my cat that I raised from a wee litte kitty. Gizzy as she is affectionately known as is M's cat that he raised since she was three weeks old. Our cats have total opposite personalities much like M & I. Trouble is the very playful, cuddly cat like M and Gizzy is the one that has the more leave me the hell alone unless I come to you attitude much like me. (The reason I am posting this is I am trying to delay my wedding preparation duties of calling the caterer back!)

My Engagement Ring... Again

Sorry I am just so excited about having my ring. I still can't believe I have gotten this far in my life. It seems like just yesterday when I started talking to M online, talking to him on the phone, finally meeting him, moving here, and now I am engaged to this great man. Yes, I am still in shock. We have discussed wedding dates and decided on May 27th. Which isn't very long away so I will be very busy making lots of plans, first on my list starting rounding the family together!

Wedding Dress Shopping

Wedding Dress Fittings

Today M's mom and I went out to find a wedding dress for me. Especially since the wedding is only in two months! I think I was slightly crazy for deciding to get married in May knowing I only had a couple months to plan everything. But I am getting it together (I think!) I picked this dress because it has everything I want in wedding dress and it was fairly inexpensive for a wedding dress (yes, I am bargain shopper). This dress has everything I want button down and tie down, a-line, long, and nice train. I am starting to feel like a Queen. Be prepared M to spoil me like the Queen I am! Anyways M's mom thought that this dress was a great pick as well. I hate that my family is three hours away but M's family has been doing a great job of accepting me and helping me do what I need to do. I can truly call them family.

Engagement Ring

Here is my engagement ring. M proposed to me last month but we hadn't decided on a ring until now. I guess this makes it "official" and now the chapter of my life of "starting a new life" is over and now I am an "engaged woman." Everything has seemed to happen to fast I am caught in a whirlwind and it doesn't seem to slow down. I am so in love I don't think I could possibly love anyone as much as I could love M.

Life As I Know It Is Changing...

This morning my life changed dramatically. This morning when I woke up I awoke to a very awake M (which is very abnormal)! I rolled over and turned to him asking him what he was doing. His reply "watching you sleep so peacefully, your always a gorgeous angel when you are asleep." Which I thought was really sweet! Then he said "people always say if you can see how beautiful your significant other is when they are awake and you love how beautiful they are when their mascara is smeared, makeup wearing off, and hair standing up that you could definately marry them." At this point a million thoughts were going through my head, I asked myself if he was going to ask me to marry him and I thought no he wouldn't do that while we were laying in bed and dismissed it and thought it was just a conversation we were going to have. Then he said "S I love you so much and I think you are the most gorgeous when you just wake up with your glassy eyes and crazy hair. I could wake up to you for the rest of my life and be happy. Will you marry me?" Of course I immediately started to cry and say yes over and over again... So now the chapter in my life of Starting a new life has closed and I am starting a new chapter in my book... I am now a Level 2 commited person: an engaged one.